


Donald Trump and the Missing Tax Returns

by FiveKittens



Category: Donald Trump real person, Political RPF - US 21st c., Real Person Fiction
Genre: America's Fucked, Good thing I'm not there, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, The missing tax returns, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-02-07
Packaged: 2019-03-15 01:13:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13602465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiveKittens/pseuds/FiveKittens
Summary: A short story on Donald trump and his life with a happy tragic ending





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in English and said" Fuck it, why not."  
> Enjoy.

Once upon a time, there was a young slightly attractive boy called Donald. Donald J Trump lived in a lovely yet slightly too expensive for what you got, house with his family.

Donald dreamed of being a wonderful person with several beautiful women on each arm, rock hard abs and a stack of cash so large that even Tony Stark would gasp it is size.

When his Daddy Dearest gave him some money to help his big D to venture out on his own. Donald excepted gracefully, happy to finally be out from underneath his father's thumb.

His life certainly came up roses at first... But as time went on the money was funneled through useless venture after useless venture, and he went through trophy wife and trophy wife. He felt like he had declared bankruptcy for the last time...

His spark was gone!

Donald decided the only way to reignite the match was to stop feeling so desperately inadequate. Thus the storm began on social media. He began to put others down to make himself feel just a little bit better.

These exploits were many in number and quite terrifying and cutting. They included his continuous claims that Obama the President at the time wasn't even an American citizen. They became out landish and shocking then went to just down right stupid.

It was then the brainwave struck! He should become president. He knew he couldn't best Obama so he waited till Obama has completed his terms in office.

He felt like this would finally help him gain control of his meaningless life. He thought if he could win the ultimate popularity contest he would finally love himself.

It was at this point he decided that all publicity is good publicity.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nothing else to do but write this.

It was now that Donald forgot all of the lessons of kindness, compassion and truthfulness that most 4 year olds already would know and began to spread lies and slander everywhere he went: his party members, their wives, their house keeping... Everyone!

But Donald couldn't stop! His pittyful self esteem began to grow and he felt so good knowing that he could say whatever he wanted and nobody else opinion mattered at all! 

Once he was elected as the king of the Republicans he lied and slandered even more, all the way to the top, the presidency!

The one topic people just wouldn't drop was his tax returns. He then had to begin an interesting tactic of saying "Hillary's emails" when ever the uncomfortable topic came up in interviews.

When even his own party said " are they really that bad Mr king Donald". He simply replied " Jesus loves the gays" to get them to break out in righteous fury for the lord our God. Rather than to continue question him.

And even when his own wife asked, he said " Shut up! You're just another trophy wife from a long list of trophy wives, unless it's a request for some new clothes don't talk.

Eventually Donald got desperate enough about his obviously fraudulent tax returns ( because why else would he not release them) he came to his last time of defense...

" Only stable geniuses can see them!" He declared. "Like me, geniuses like me" he reiterated. "Yeah"


	3. Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep and it continues.. I really should just make this all one chapter...

Donald asked Mike Pence, 

"Can you see my tax returns?" 

Mike answered, "Of course Donald, of course!"

Then he asked Melania "can you see my tax returns!" 

"Donald, that is just a blank pag-" she tried to say, as she was not under his spell, anymore.

But Donald was to fast, cutting her of he said," I'm glad you can honey bear! Just like I'm glad you really enjoy sex with someone so much older than you and grossly obese!"

Donald waddled outside, trying to skip but not having enough leg muscle to launch himself in the air. 

"Hey! Hey! Look!" He yelled at his lady press secretary." Your can see this, right?" 

"Yep" she replied " Totally". 

Before turning and murmuring under her breath "Alternate facts, I'll use that one again, delusions and alternate facts."

Donald was so happy. He wandered around the White House showing person after person the sheet. The general census was to nod their heads and mutter some comments asking the lines of "of course Mr President" or "Yes I see", even sometimes venturing into "well done" and "good job".


	4. Part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I still doing this?

Donald was amazed, he had a chorus of positivity surrounding him. He had just wandered in to the ladies dressing room when out of nowhere a large group of at least a dozen sexy women appeared. 

They chanted: " DONALD... DONALD... DONALD" Over and over again, occasionally yelping in pleasure as they caught sight of the single page. They fanned him and romanced him till they the DateRape drug finally wore off.

They would remember nothing.

Soon enough the whole world knew about the returned tax returns. The world (and America in particular) lit up and exploded with pleasure at the joyous news that Donald J Trump and finally started to grow up and act like a real adult. 

They hoped that he would stop saying misogynistic comments next!

However the bliss-filled bubble soon popped when Hillary Clinton asked if:" Donald, you know that's just a blank page right? Your tax returns would be folders upon folders, thousands of pages of paper, with writing on them.... Hell, even just ink." 

"What?" Cried Donald.

"Yeah, so where are they, when are you going to hand them in?" She asked.

"No! This.. This is all I'm handing in, is all I have!! I'm not allowed touch anything else!!" 

Donald Trump was so shocked his two hands left the steering wheel of his massive party bus that was currently housing everyone who was invited to his huge celebration for finally releasing his tax returns. The bus veered off the road which was especially dangerous sure to the fact he had been going over the speed limit next to where the party was to be held. The grand canyon.

Donald, dispite his claim as a stable geniuse he couldn't gain control of the bus again.

Donald Trump along with all of his family except those who were nice and all his supporters (special mention Mike Pence) sadly plunged over the edge of the grand canyon and died.

 

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, I think at a later date I'll combine it in to one but for now. I'm too lazy to make it all one chapter.
> 
> PS. If you made it this far your either my English teacher, my friends or someone with too much time on your hands. But anyway, thank you.


End file.
